Dear
diary,
Today I
thought would be the best day EVER - but it ended up being the worst!
Me and my
friends had planned to go to the beach for the day. As soon as we got there we decided
to go swimming. We swam out deep into the sea. When we were far from land, we saw
something circling gracefully around us. On second glance, we realised it was a
SHARK! We swam with lightning speed until we reached land. Petrified, exhausted, breathless, I ran as fast as humanly
possible, for dread that this might be the end…
Amber from the wyche ce primary school
ReplyDeleteI love it and it seems really good I wish I could read on.
Don't use the end. Make it more exciting. I wish there was more.
ReplyDeleteHayley wyche school
Elliot from the Wyche CE primary school
ReplyDeleteI really liked the descrpition 😃
I loved your story and I want to know what might happen next. You need to improve on your sentence starters but I like petrified.
ReplyDeleteInnie wyche school
Good description of the story.Did you die?if you did die how would you be writing in your diary .You would of die if you where surrounded by a shark even if you did swim as fast as you can. Really good effort
ReplyDeleteNice story
Alice kearley
Suckley school