Tuesday, 20 January 2015

James' 100 WC - The tornado

It was January 1st and I was watching the raindrops falling on the doorstep. Then suddenly out of nowhere a tornado was forming. I was petrified, exhausted, breathless, I ran as fast as humanly possible for dread that this might be the end. I ran down the road through the alley and out of town. The tornado was a ferocious car eating monster -  it was closing in fast, very fast. The town was empty but as the town stood the tornado destroyed it. The next day we all came back to our destroyed town, I overheard that it would take two years to rebuild, that day was terrifying but now we are safe.  
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13 comments:

  1. Anonymous22 January 2015 at 02:30

    Elliot from the Wyche CE primary school

    That is a really good story I really tornado

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous22 January 2015 at 02:31

    Catherine from the Wyche School
    Gripping story! Its really good but try to use other punctuation. If a tornado were coming I'd use exclamation marks.

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  3. Anonymous22 January 2015 at 02:32

    Catherine from the Wyche School
    Gripping story! Its really good but try to use other punctuation. If a tornado were coming I'd use exclamation marks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous22 January 2015 at 02:32

    This is Thea from the Wyche I think you you did it really well but maybe you could start you sentence starters!!

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  5. Anonymous22 January 2015 at 02:32

    That is so so cool love it. Maybe try and get better punctuation in.
    Hayley wyche school

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous22 January 2015 at 02:34

    Oliver from the Wyche. very good I like the tornado and the monster what you said about it.

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  7. Anonymous22 January 2015 at 02:35

    This is Thea from the Wyche School well done you did that really well but maybe you could use better sentence starters!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous22 January 2015 at 02:36

    I think you did really well on your vocabularys and you have well explained. I think you can improve on sentence starters.
    From Tara from the Wyche primary school.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous22 January 2015 at 02:37

    I think you did really well on your vocabularys and you have well explained. I think you can improve on sentence starters.
    From Tara from the Wyche primary school.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous22 January 2015 at 02:39

    Paddy from the Wyche

    Cool. Gives the impression that the persons really scared. I like yours a lot 😎😆😀

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  11. Anonymous22 January 2015 at 08:49

    It made me stop breathing as I read it . It sounded so real!


    Freiya suckley school

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  12. Anonymous22 January 2015 at 08:51

    It made me stop breathing. It sounded so real!


    Freiya suckley school

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous30 January 2015 at 02:06

    That was amazing, but you could make it a bit longer.

    Mairi and Poppy from Suckley School

    ReplyDelete

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