Imagine
a place where everyone is happy, were everyone is friends: This is where I used
to live. Ross Island is a lovely island where I grew up, but when I went there
again it was different. The houses were old and unkept, nobody was friends
anymore, it was horrible. I decided to go down to my favourite place on the
island; the old lighthouse. As I turned around the corner to the light house I
stared in horror. The foundations were crumbling like a digestive biscuit and
the windows had been shattered like pieces of ice, it was terrible.
I Love the digestive biscuit simile Vicky! A gripping opener - very well written indeed !
ReplyDeleteMr W
I agree with Mr Warne ,really good I liked how u described the lighthouse. Well done:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) !!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou have used a great opener to start your piece of writing, also you have used super punctuation for purpose and effect. I love how you have used a simile to describe the scene. There are many complex sentences in your writing that add extra description. You are a fantastic writer and one day you may become a famous author! Well done!!
ReplyDeleteEm and Jazzy from Malvern Parish