Tuesday 20 January 2015

James' 100 WC - The tornado

It was January 1st and I was watching the raindrops falling on the doorstep. Then suddenly out of nowhere a tornado was forming. I was petrified, exhausted, breathless, I ran as fast as humanly possible for dread that this might be the end. I ran down the road through the alley and out of town. The tornado was a ferocious car eating monster -  it was closing in fast, very fast. The town was empty but as the town stood the tornado destroyed it. The next day we all came back to our destroyed town, I overheard that it would take two years to rebuild, that day was terrifying but now we are safe.  

13 comments:

  1. Elliot from the Wyche CE primary school

    That is a really good story I really tornado

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  2. Catherine from the Wyche School
    Gripping story! Its really good but try to use other punctuation. If a tornado were coming I'd use exclamation marks.

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  3. Catherine from the Wyche School
    Gripping story! Its really good but try to use other punctuation. If a tornado were coming I'd use exclamation marks.

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  4. This is Thea from the Wyche I think you you did it really well but maybe you could start you sentence starters!!

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  5. That is so so cool love it. Maybe try and get better punctuation in.
    Hayley wyche school

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  6. Oliver from the Wyche. very good I like the tornado and the monster what you said about it.

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  7. This is Thea from the Wyche School well done you did that really well but maybe you could use better sentence starters!

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  8. I think you did really well on your vocabularys and you have well explained. I think you can improve on sentence starters.
    From Tara from the Wyche primary school.

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  9. I think you did really well on your vocabularys and you have well explained. I think you can improve on sentence starters.
    From Tara from the Wyche primary school.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Paddy from the Wyche

    Cool. Gives the impression that the persons really scared. I like yours a lot 😎😆😀

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  11. It made me stop breathing as I read it . It sounded so real!


    Freiya suckley school

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  12. It made me stop breathing. It sounded so real!


    Freiya suckley school

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  13. That was amazing, but you could make it a bit longer.

    Mairi and Poppy from Suckley School

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