Tuesday 20 January 2015
James' 100 WC - The tornado
It was January 1st and I was watching the raindrops falling on the doorstep. Then suddenly out of nowhere a tornado was forming. I was petrified, exhausted, breathless, I ran as fast as humanly possible for dread that this might be the end. I ran down the road through the alley and out of town. The tornado was a ferocious car eating monster - it was closing in fast, very fast. The town was empty but as the town stood the tornado destroyed it. The next day we all came back to our destroyed town, I overheard that it would take two years to rebuild, that day was terrifying but now we are safe.
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Elliot from the Wyche CE primary school
ReplyDeleteThat is a really good story I really tornado
Catherine from the Wyche School
ReplyDeleteGripping story! Its really good but try to use other punctuation. If a tornado were coming I'd use exclamation marks.
Catherine from the Wyche School
ReplyDeleteGripping story! Its really good but try to use other punctuation. If a tornado were coming I'd use exclamation marks.
This is Thea from the Wyche I think you you did it really well but maybe you could start you sentence starters!!
ReplyDeleteThat is so so cool love it. Maybe try and get better punctuation in.
ReplyDeleteHayley wyche school
Oliver from the Wyche. very good I like the tornado and the monster what you said about it.
ReplyDeleteThis is Thea from the Wyche School well done you did that really well but maybe you could use better sentence starters!
ReplyDeleteI think you did really well on your vocabularys and you have well explained. I think you can improve on sentence starters.
ReplyDeleteFrom Tara from the Wyche primary school.
I think you did really well on your vocabularys and you have well explained. I think you can improve on sentence starters.
ReplyDeleteFrom Tara from the Wyche primary school.
Paddy from the Wyche
ReplyDeleteCool. Gives the impression that the persons really scared. I like yours a lot 😎😆😀
It made me stop breathing as I read it . It sounded so real!
ReplyDeleteFreiya suckley school
It made me stop breathing. It sounded so real!
ReplyDeleteFreiya suckley school
That was amazing, but you could make it a bit longer.
ReplyDeleteMairi and Poppy from Suckley School