Sunday, 18 January 2015

Peter's 100 WC

I was running and running. I was so sweaty I wondered if the floppy disk, that the old man gave me, would still work. The old man told me to plug the disk in and press the huge red button to stop the nuclear bomb exploding, I only had five minutes to do it and it was almost a mile away. My heartbeat was a countdown clock thudding in my ears and I was really, really scared. Petrified, exhausted, breathless, I ran as fast as humanly possible, for dread that this might be the end. Would I get there in time?

6 comments:

  1. Morning Peter,

    We read your 100WC as a whole class this morning, we liked the urgency in your writing regarding the disaster that might happen. The metaphor about the countdown clock added more feeling and the floppy disc put us back in the 80's. We all decided that if your 100 WC started with your last few sentences it would have been more dramatic.

    Mr Westwood & Green Class - Wyche CE Primary School

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Mr Westwood and his Year 6's - Your commenting has been inspirational, we thank you for the time you put into it. Looking forwards to commenting on some of your fabulous writing in the next few weeks. If you fancy a writing challenge (Perhaps Skype or blogging) let me know and we can arrange some kind of Literacy task, Wells vs Wyche, all for a bit of fun of course!
      Thanks again - Mr Warne

      Delete
  2. Henry from the Wyche school
    It was really good but you did 102 words but it was brilliantšŸ˜ƒ

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  3. I really like the suspense you have made in your story, which made me want to read on. You could try to us some more interesting sentence starters. But over all it's really good.

    Holly G from the Wyche

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  4. good describing words maybe you could use a different word to sweating


    Clara from the Wyche school

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  5. Sam L from the Wyche
    Can't wait to find out what happens. although there is 101 words, but the story is great!

    ReplyDelete

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