Sunday, 18 January 2015

the terrible gardener

It was a normal Sunday here in the military school of war. That's a brilliant place for a eight year old to grow up, especially as the Amy depot next door was packed with weapons and explosives, not very safe - I think you’d agree. However, I survived up in till now at least.

Crashing through the undergrowth searching desperately for an escape. thud thump thud. My heart was beating like a drum. It was Mr. Warne the terrible gardener.
Petrified, exhausted, breathless, I ran as fast as humanly possible, for dread that this might be the end........but it wasn't.


  1. Good punctuation and I like the ... near the end.

  2. it was brilliant. love to no what happens next.

    Clara from the wyche school

    Clara from the Wyche school

  3. Do you know thud at the start of the sentence that needs a capital letter.Could you put a ellipses at the end of the story.

  4. Could you put a question mark in ? very good story


  5. Thud at the start of the sentence needs a capital and also you need to put a , when you put thud, thump, thud. I like how you haven't ended it like everyone else.
    Poppy from Suckley School


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