MADE OF MORE
I was water from the ground and I evaporated to become what I am today, and I spoke to my self and said I will probably separate from the others today, because the wind can not control me.
I separated from the other clouds, floated over the sea and over many ships to get to the city, where I wished I went a long time ago. I wondered and wondered and I could not find any thing at all, until I saw a fire in the streets and all of the fire men could not control it so, I thought, that if from the side wont work then I'll help out and go from above and see if that would work. And it did.
And I think they thought I was MADE OF MORE!!!!!!!
By Oliver Clarke
I really liked this piece of writing but to improve it you could look at your punctuation eg 'wont' should be spelled won't.
ReplyDeleteAt the start I got a bit lost but I think after the bit where it says the wind cannot control me I was gripped again. 😄😃😀
ReplyDeleteWell done, very gripping. Perhaps some more punctuation would be good.
ReplyDeleteHATTIE
i like that you've put evaporated, it shows you were listening when we did the water cycle
ReplyDeleteHenry!